I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
