did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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