2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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