Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
