just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
