He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
