Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
