I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
