Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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