I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
