she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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