Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
