YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
