The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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