Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
