Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
