I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
