I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
