Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
