he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
