I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
