I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
