We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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