i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
