Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
