My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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