Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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