DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
