Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
where are you?
Hypothermia
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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