If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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