The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
