My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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