i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
