No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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