Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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