I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Randomize
