i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
