My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize