I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
tell me about the fingering
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