Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize