I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize