Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
