sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
