So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
third nipple confirmed
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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