My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
