I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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