i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Then you guys just all showered together...?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
