i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
