I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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