doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
