you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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