i just wanna soil my oats bro
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
