Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Sponge bath it is.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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