We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
The power of my boobs compel you
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
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