i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
