you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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