Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
