We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
everyone is single if you try hard enough
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
its liver damage thursday
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
