he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
