now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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