I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
