I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
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