It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
