Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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