Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
